all_i_got_left

This is Dr. McCoy...

- voice - text - action - files -

If you have questions, concerns or commentary on my portrayal of Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy, please state them here.

[The device turns on as it is sent crashing to the ground by a rather angry, violent cat. It's probably running from the doctor it just clawed, if the accompanying cursing is any indication. Once a few obscenities are uttered, a door is slammed.]

And stay in there, you damn hairball.

Yeah, I'll bet it's just the curse. Convenient curse there, you violent little bugger.

[There's a soft clattering as he picks the device up off the floor.]

Well, as long as this thing is on? If you manage to get yourself mauled today, drop me a line and I'll fix you up.

[Click.]

Alright, I don't know who the hell you are, but whoever just ran off with my med kit had damn well better return it. That is delicate, advanced equipment which I am very much in need of. Of all the things you could take, you take the damn doctor's kit? Oh. And you can come take this godforsaken hyperactive pink gunk you left trashing the rest of my equipment, too.

For everyone else's edification, here are a couple of the items in question. This is a hypospray.



This is a medical tricorder.



They are both mine. They do not belong to anyone else. And since there doesn't seem to be a curse today, anyone who isn't me that has these is a damned bloody thief, plain and simple.

Now, if these were to be returned to me, I'd probably be willing to let it go. [muttered] After I throw the cat at the bastard.

Police? If any of you all want to get involved in this, I'd be more than happy to talk to you all about it. 'Fraid I didn't see a hell of a lot, though.



[ooc: ummmm ok so I have an 8-yr old wireless mouse and keyboard on my desktop and... the mouse just died. and apparently the charger won't work anymore so i think it might actually be dead dead, and... the receiver just started lagging so i can't even get the shift key to work. i think it's time to call it a night bc i'm not dragging my laptop out so close to bedtime XD *tab tab tabs down to edit*]

( Chief Medical Officer's Files | Viewable by Enterprise Crew | Text )

July has been a hell of a month, hasn't it? Starts off with the interdimensional floodgates crashing open and a few representatives of just about every universe you never could have imagined pouring in, and loses half our damned crew along the way. And to think they didn't even leave a card. See if I get that pointy-eared bastard anything for his birthday.

...did leave a damned cat, though. What are we doing about that, anyway?

Mr. Scott, I never did get back to you about the pub, did I? Think I could use a good stiff drink, assuming you're not too busy with your lady friend, of course.


[ooc: Kind of placeholdery, semi-hiatus still in effect, sorry for fail, ilu~, etc., etc. I feel like a broken record and it makes me very sad.]

NOBODY IS DEAD, ALRIGHT!?

We've established that. Nobody is dead, therefore the Captain does not need to be told anyone is dead, and most of you could really use a refresher course in basic manners.

Damned ludicrous curse. I don't even know how to--

Which one of you took my tricorder?

You try to talk to the damn people and this is what you get--

Dok!!

[There is an angry, angry Pokemon in the place of Dr. McCoy today, complete with the inability to say anything other than its own name.]

Dok- dok- dokter!! DOKTERDAMMETT!!!

[It can also manage to growl, and it does.]

DOK!! DOKTER!!

DOKTERDAMMETT!!!!

[He's currently outside the hospital, and clearly enraged beyond all reason.]



[OOC: He's a psychic type Pokemon. Abilities include SNARK, DEMORALIZE and INTIMIDATE, which I have figured out the mechanics of... to some extent anyway, since I don't actually play Pokemon. XD I'm MIA most of the weekend for my cousin's Bar Mitzvah but wanted to get this up for the curse, so this is a BACKDATING FRIENDLY ZONE. As always.]

( Chief Medical Officer's Files | Viewable by Enterprise Crew | Text )

It's been said, but for the love of god, if you're feeling sick, don't hole yourself up and pretend everything's okay. Don't ignore symptoms because they're not serious -- yet. We're in the middle of an outbreak, and if we catch the damned diseases early we've got a shot of curing them before you're all walking around with no heartbeat and happy, fat ticks feasting on what's left of your blood. If you're not well, get to the hospital. Now.

And this? That's a fine damned example of some first-class common sense. I'd strongly suggest exercising some if you've got any.

The snow, by the way? Not a bad idea, and it smells a hell of a lot better than the last attempt. Good luck with the pest problem, deities. Least you could do is keep the damned place sanitary for your guinea pigs.

( Chief Medical Officer's Files | Viewable by Enterprise Crew )

Well, might as well offer a decent introduction on this damned thing, if I'm going to be trapped here with all of you. To anyone I haven't met, I'm Dr. Leonard McCoy... charmed.

For those of you who work in the hospital, I'll be joining the staff starting next week. In my usual dimension, I'm the Chief Medical Officer and senior surgeon aboard the USS Enterprise, having specialized in anatomical and forensic pathology in the Academy. I'll be serving as a surgeon here, and assisting in the Emergency Room as needed.

And as long as we're on the hospital... not bad, by the standards of the 21st century, at least. Only a moderate torture chamber. I take it the Deities have made a few improvements; the autodocs are a charming touch, really. Of course, I'm still going to look into reproducing some of the medical technology from my med kits.

Mr. Scott, I might have to ask your help on this venture.

Jim, you working tonight? I think I might just head over to the Lux and get myself a few good, stiff drinks.

What in the Sam bloody hell-

Enterprise, come in! This is Dr. McCoy... would you care to explain to me exactly where it is this blasted contraption of yours has landed me?

Enterprise.

Enterprise, do you read?

Amazing. The greatest minds of the human race get together, sit down, and decide it's a good idea to disassemble living matter, convert it into energy, and zap it clear across that silent, gaping, void of death we call space. One molecule pops up in the wrong spot, and it's all over. Forget about landing that living matter where it belongs, let's see what happens when you put it back together wrong, and suddenly you've got your systems crossed. Instant, technology-granted sepsis, at best.

[Looking around him, he addresses the City at large.]

I don't suppose anyone here can tell me where in the universe I've been zapped to?